My name is Gabrielle Dolly, and I approve the contents of this site.
Dolly stumbled a bit as she stepped from the quiet of The Lane to the bustle of the main street of Serendip'ity City. It was almost as if there were a difference in the rotational speed or direction of the Earth between the two places, and her body took an instant to adjust.
She had been here before, several times, with Alger (though they had never had much time to spare and had only peeked in on the way elsewhere), and expected the effect. She therefore took it in stride. As she did — she told herself — everything in life.
As the Disney-with-a-twist architecture of the place swam into focus, she quickly oriented herself. She thought she knew where she wanted to go, but would have to find the way. If they had what she was looking for...
Ah! They did have it. There — a sign. The legend at the top read, "Welcome to Serendip'ity City." Its appearance was kinda waver-y, constantly changing from Early Bus Stop — plastic and aluminum — to Theme Park Faux — painted wood and polyurethane, in typefaces ranging from Gill Sands to Rocky Mountain Rococo.
"Committee design," Dolly muttered under her breath and set off across the intervening ground. The surface underfoot kept changing, from cobblestones to asphalt and back to concrete. "Dangle!" Dolly said. "Can we settle on one thing for a half-second?"
"The rules clearly state that the appearance and layout of the City are not set in stone," said...
Dolly whirled, seeking. Her hand went to the ivory hilt of the custom-made katana whose saya was strapped across her back. She straightened her arm, drawing the blade over her shoulder.
"Who said that?" she said. "Show yourself!" Sword in hand, she felt more confident, able to take on the world. She hustled over to the sign, hoping to use it for shelter. She planted herself in front of it, its solid wood a comfort at her back, and turned to face her assailant.
"It was just li'l ole me," said a voice that Dolly recognized (from countless hours wasted in front of cable TV when she was a dolly and had yet to become a real grrl) as belonging to Ed Wynn.
It had come from behind her!
She whirled and dropped into a garde stance, her point threatening...
Nobody.
"Tee-hee!" the voice giggled. "You sure are a pip!"
Dolly stalked stiff-legged around the sign. The voice had to be coming from beyond it.
There was nobody there, either.
"What the fern?" she straightened a bit and turned her head slowly, listening. Watching everything — shadows and light, light and shadows — for signs of life.
A rat scurried from garbage heap to gutter and dived down a sewer grate.
Dolly like to jump out of her skin.
...
She wants me to mention how delectable her skin is, by the way. Dolly is beautiful. And vain. And...? Oh! She says, "A high-maintenance bitka." By which she means demanding.
Are we done? Thank you.
...
Ordinarily, authors don't publish their "trunk" stories — those stories they cannot or will not sell. But these stories of the Dolly Apocrypha were effectively written in public. They were composed in 1500-word chunks, as posts on a mailing list. They have been on the Web almost since they were first written. Withholding them now would be kind of churlish. And... I hope that they can bring a few people some joy.
Recent developments in the publishing arena make it feasible for me to publish these stories without having to face the gatekeepers of the publishing industry in New York. Leaving aside the question of whether this is wise, I am pleased to let it be known that I am preparing to publish a heavily revised version of the Apocrypha — call it Apocrypha 2.0 — in ebook formats (Kindle, Nook, et al) sometime before the end of 2012. Thus it is then that one may come to think of the stories as they have been published on the Web these last 12 years as the first draft of what someday will be the final version of the Dolly Apocrypha. Sometime also in 2012, I hope to have paper edition(s) available as well. Watch this space and at BabyTrollBlog
Also sometime in the future (I hope in the NEAR future), Dolly and I will seek professional publication of The Dolly Canon — stories purpose-written for publication, at (one hopes) a higher level of quality and professionalism. Friends have read the stories as they stand: Geppetto's Log, Genesis, Armed Citizen, The Omega Trilogy (Deicide in Irian Jaya, You Could Spend Years, The Next Story). All have much work to be done on them to bring them to an acceptable level of quality. I offer this here in the hopes that these will expand beyond the mere 15 pastiches here into an admirable body of work. Additionally, all of the thought I have put into this whole ball of wax has persuaded me that there may be yet a THIRD story arc — call it the Continuing Adventures of Gabrielle Dolly — and a FOURTH — call those The Adventures of Gabrielle Godslayer. As I say, watch this space and the blog.
Content: Being as this is created by and for fans of a violent television show that had a notorious following of people who are interested in sex, (as if there is anybody who is not interested in sex), it's a pretty safe bet that, even though this story is not about the characters in the show, there's plenty of both. There is also some language that some may find offensive and will tut-tut about. Too bad. That's what the off-button is for. Nobody is forcing you to read this. Exercise your freedom of choice. Everybody else: enjoy!
All original works copyright
© 1999-2011 Mark Philip Alger. All rights reserved.
All original works, articles, and images are the property of their creators. Reuse is not permitted. Reproduction of original works, likenesses, or trademarks without permission is a violation of Federal law and international treaties and is subject to prosecution, and to civil and criminal penalties.
There is none of that wishy-washy open-source crap here. This stuff is mine. I made it. I intend to defend it vigorously. Infringe on my copyrights at your own moral peril.
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